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Pioneer Newsletter December 2004
Editor: Jim Morgan (Class of 1958)
320 East Vine Street #4
Murray, Utah 84107
(801) 261-1906
E-mail: jrmmgm123@juno.com
E-mail: jrmmgm123@aol.com

GO PIONEERS!

          Thanks to all who send me information about the death of Coach Lipscomb and the article in the Miami Herald about the problems at North Miami High. I've included in this newsletter the entire information for those who have not heard about Coach Lipscomb or read the article. I know by now that the Pioneer article has been forwarded to many of you. Please continue to send me any interesting articles about the North Miami area, North Miami Senior High, students and teachers. This newsletter is your newsletter. I sometimes edit the e-mails received for length or personal items that were written. Also I always use the maiden names for the female students because that is how most of us know them.

          1956 Pioneer Christmas: Thanks to all of you who took the time and e-mailed me about the 1956 Pioneer Christmas article. It was fun for me to research and to write. I must say it brought back many fond memories to me also. My days in North Miami (both the school and the community) are some of the fondest memories that I have.

          New E-mail Addresses: Recently many have changed their e-mail addresses when they switched their Internet provider (I've noticed a large shift away from AOL). I really appreciate those who let me know about the change when it was happening. It makes it easier when it's time to send out the Pioneer Newsletter and other special mailings. I'm sending the newsletter to over 500 Pioneers and it is hard to find time to e-mail others asking for Pioneer updates. Also if you know of other Pioneers or Friends of North Miami High School Pioneers who you think would like to get the Pioneer Newsletter let me know and I'll add them to my list, especially your own brothers, sisters. I will continue to try to track down those who were in the Class of 1958 but those from the classes (1955-1959) will need to give me updated e-mail addresses.

          Death of Mrs. Florence Calwallder -NMHS: Mrs. Cadwallder's Obituary: McClure, Florence Hill Cadwallder, age 102, died Saturday, Nov 27, 2004 in Gainesville, Florida were she has lived since 1986, moving to Gainesville from Biscayne Park in Miami, Florida, where she taught school for 47 years. She was a 50 year member of the Order of the Eastern Star Mu Chapter, as well as a 50 year member of the Delta Kappa Gamma sorority. She was active in the Dade County school system both as a teacher and guidance counselor. She is survived by one son and daughter-in-law, Philip S. "Sam" and Dea Cadwallader, Jr. of Gainesville, Florida. Six grandchildren and ten great-grandchildren, several step-children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. She was preceded in death by her husband, Philip S. Cadwallader and son John O. Cadwallader. Graveside funeral services will be held at Southern Memorial Park Cemetery on Sat. Dec. 4, 2004 at 2:00 P.M. The family requests that contributions be made to the Historical Museum of Southern Florida, 1101 W. Flagler St., Miami, Florida 33130 or to one's favorite charity. To visit this Guest Book Online, go to www.herald.com/obituaries. Published in The Miami Herald on 12/3/2004.

          Coach Howard Lipscomb Death: Note: Jim, it's another day and I have a mild case of a "senior moment." I got an email from Don Lewis that Coach Lipscomp had a stroke at the Palm Gardens of Aventura. I wrote him a letter and sent you a copy. (From Vennie Pent-Class of 1956). Note: I received this notice from Audrey Axelson (Class of 1957): E-mail: It seems all I am doing lately is relaying sad news. Coach Howard Lipscomb passed away December 8th, after a long illness. His family is having services at Fred Hunter's Hollywood Memorial Gardens Home, 401 University Drive, Davie, Florida. Viewing on Saturday, December 11 from 2 until 4 followed by services on the same day at 3:30 pm. The family would like donations sent to the American Diabetic Association or the American Heart Association in lieu of flowers. Trudy his daughter, as you remember graduated with us (Class of 1957). Her address is: Mr. and Mrs. T. Williamson, 18210 N. W. 5th Avenue, Miami, Florida 33169. Note from Jim Morgan: I forwarded this notice to those whom I knew from my records had played football, baseball, basketball or were on the track team in the 1950's at NMHS since Coach Lipscomb was over the Athletic Department in the 1950's.

          Coach Lipscomb's Obituary From the Miami Herald: Lipscomb, Howard I., 96, of Miami, died Wednesday, December 8, 2004. Former North Miami High School football coach, long standing member of Miami Shores Country Club and United States Navy veteran of World War II. Survived by daughters, Gertrude (Trudy-Class of 1957) Williamson of Miami, Roberta Keiser of Pembroke Pines, Mary Howard Hartley of Miami, 7 grandchildren and 8 great-grandchildren. Funeral services 11:00 A.M. Saturday, December 11, 2004 at Fred Hunter's University Drive Home, 2401 South University Drive, Davie, where friends may call Saturday, 2 to 4 P.M. Cremation by Fred Hunter Crematory. To visit this Guest Book Online (Coach Lipscomb), go to www.herald.com/obituaries. Published in The Miami Herald on 12/10/2004.

          NMHS Pioneer Pride: We who attended NMHS when it first started are still very proud of our school. We had great teachers and school administrators. Many of our students became involved in the entertainment industry, radio and television, professional men and women, educators, artists, yes even a few models. They placed high in major world, national and state beauty pagents, became published writers, politicians, successful business owners, professional atletes, pilots, medical professionals, military leaders and many the hardest job of all, housewives who stayed at home to raise their own families. I won't mention any names for fear of offending someone. Our school and community produced many, many great people. Mostly we came from honest, hard working stock. Our parents taught us great values. The next story you read will put a new light on North Miami High School, the way it is today.

          The Death of Pioneer Pride: I'm on the e-mail list with the Miami Herald. I received a notice about an article about the problems at NMHS. A few hours later I receive the same article from a few other people. Scott Galvin, whom I've mentioned in past Pioneer Newsletters, also sent it to me. He is trying to collect for North Miami High to assist in changing the rapid decline of our precious school. Since we have just had two deaths of beloved teachers from our 1950's days at NMHS it might be a nice time to make a donation to the Pioneer Pride Fund that Scott has started up in the names of Coach Lipscomb and Mrs. Florence Caldweller. Also we could do it in the names of our Pioneer friends who have pass on recently. Since this is the Holiday Season, the season of giving, it would be a great opportunity to help the Pioneer Pride Fund. Scott is a City Councilman in North Miami and a Pioneer graduate. You can e-mail Scott Galvin at either pioneerpride@aol.com or at scttglvn@aol.com to get additional information on this great project that he is doing.

          Here is a message from Scott Galvin: Hello, North Miami High Alumni! Below is the text of an article that ran today, December 14th, on the front page of the Miami Herald (www.herald.com). There was a full-color picture of David Hudak with it. If you are interested in making a donation to the Pioneer Pride Fund, benefiting the students and programs at our alma mater, send a check to the PPF at 12100 West Dixie Highway, North Miami, Florida 33161. Your help is never more needed. Happy Holidays, Scott Galvin, Class of 1986 and Pioneer Pride Fund Founder scttglvn@aol.com

          School's spirit fades with each battered wall. North Miami Senior High's quest to reinvent itself mirrors that of North Miami, a city with a storied but overlooked legacy, one undergoing a redevelopment by David Ovalle dovalle@herald.com.

          The roof has leaked, mold has festered, portable classrooms have rotted and so many rats have scurried around the gum-stained halls that students once picketed. But the stories hidden in the hallways of North Miami Senior High are infinitely more colorful than the walls' battleship-gray hue. In a few years, the Miami-Dade school district plans to raze this building and put up a new school on what is now a football field. What will remain is a surprisingly rich past -- alumni that include a baseball Hall of Famer, politicians and the president of NBC. Moreover, the school's quest to reinvent itself mirrors that of North Miami, a city with a storied but overlooked legacy, one undergoing massive redevelopment amid changing demographics. "Nobody is in awe when you say you went to North Miami High. If you mentioned Gables, Miami or Edison, there is something of respect," said City Councilman Scott Galvin, a 1986 grad. "We're a nondescript kind of school in a nondescript community." Drive down Northeast 135th Street just past Sixth Avenue and there looms the windowless school surrounded by a chain-link fence that has all the aesthetic charm of a state penitentiary. It has been battered by five decades of use -- thousands of students a day, including day and night classes -- and few dispute it: North Miami Senior High is a dump. This becomes evident as you stroll outside, around the weed-choked fountain lined by concrete frogs (the hangout favored by slackers), through the front doors and past the green-shirted security guard. Range of Memories: The stuffy hallways exude lost memories: the tragic; the happy; the absurd. The salutatorian who programmed a robot to give a commencement speech. The senior shot through the throat by his father after an argument over prom money. The Russian class taught at the height of the Cold War. The principal who banned Brave New World and 1984. "That's the place I was student body president. That's where I held my first high elected office," said Florida Sen. Dave Aronberg, D-West Palm Beach, a 1989 grad. "It was a school that didn't have a lot of money, or a fancy mall" like The Mall at 163rd Street near North Miami Beach High. "But we had a lot of pride." On a recent day, inside Room 607, English teacher David Hudak chatted with students. For more than three decades, Hudak -- who rides a skateboard and wears old-school Converse sneakers -- has taught students Othello, The Color Purple and Don Quijote de La Mancha. As in the city itself, the ethnic makeup of Hudak's classes has shifted over the years, from mostly white to mostly Haitian American. "Kids are kids, no matter what generation," Hudak said as he offered a walking tour of the campus. "They're so enthusiastic, so full of energy. They keep me young."

          The Beginning: North Miami Senior High opened after construction delays in 1951, originally as Edward L. Constance Junior High (the name was changed a few years later). For decades, the city's only high school has been plagued by crowded classes and the inevitable confusion with the rival blessed with the extra word: North Miami Beach. The school's decrepit condition doesn't appear to bother Hudak as he weaved through streams of teens into a near-empty cafeteria. What irks is the lack of school spirit. The cafeteria walls are splashed with green and gray, the official colors of the North Miami Pioneers. But Pioneer Pride is nearly dead. "We had a real covered wagon in here," Hudak said. "We'd bring it out for the homecoming parade." The wagon was removed to make room for more tables. Attendance at football games has dwindled. The homecoming parade that once closed North Miami's main drag disappeared long ago. The yearbook died for lack of interest.

          Bad Reputation: ''The school itself has a very bad reputation,'' said junior Stanley Kong, 16, who is enrolled in North Miami's respected International Baccalaureate program. ``I'm more attached to the program than the school itself or the spirit.'' Maybe students feel no ownership for their shoddy school. Maybe it's deeper. "There is not nearly the community attachment to it as there once was," said Galvin, the only current North Miami Council member to have graduated from the school. "North Miami's population is more transient than it used to be; you don't have the same roots here." Galvin is helping replant the roots. Using $5,000 of leftover campaign money, which can be given to charities, he recently bought the football team new uniforms. Inspired by vibrant alumni networks like Edison's ''Over-the-Hill Gang,'' he has begun reaching out to alumni for donations. Bill Conti, the Oscar-winning composer known for creating the score for the Rocky movies, graduated from North Miami. Ron Book, the powerful Miami-Dade lobbyist; Aronberg, the state senator; and Hall of Fame pitcher Steve Carlton are all Pioneers. NBC can boast president Jeff Zucker and reporter Fred Francis. "It completely shaped who I am," Zucker said of his alma mater. ``It was an incredibly diverse student body, which also helped prepare me to deal with people of every background.'' Hudak, the skateboarding English teacher, has mentored students of all types. He exits to the dusty football practice field, which doubles as a parking lot. "It's a whole different world out here," Hudak explained, pointing to a row of about two dozen portable classrooms. Teacher Jim Kononoff stopped to chat. T V Series: Kononoff is pitching to the networks a TV series loosely based on the school and set in a blue-collar Haitian-American neighborhood. It's set in North Miami and features a principal with mysterious overseas connections and a science teacher who may or may not be a Neo-Nazi. "Think Boston Public set in Miami," Kononoff said before strolling off. Hudak smiled and gazed at the field. He lives in Miami Beach, but he calls North Miami his home. A huge condo development east of Biscayne Boulevard is expected to pump millions into North Miami for affordable housing, a sporting arena and a new charter high school. But it is on this parched field that the new North Miami Senior High will be erected. Now 58, Hudak hopes to teach at least one year in the new building before he retires. "I think it's a good chance to start over," Hudak said, his eyes awash in optimism. "A new beginning."

          Music of the 1950's: If you are interested in getting your favorite music of the 1950's check out www.yestermusic.com. It's filled with "Oldies But Goodies". One CD is the Hits of 1953 that includes You, You, You by the Ames Brothers, Rags To Riches, Till I Waltz Again With You, P. S. I Love You, Ricochet, That's Amore, Ebb Tide, Crying In The Chapel, April In Portugal, Vaya Con Dios, Pretend and many, many more songs. They even have an old transistor radio of your youth but it plays both AM and FM music for only $11.98. There are many other companies that have old time music available on tapes and CD's. Some even offer vinyl records. You can check they out on "google".

          Class of 1960 Cruise-May 2005: We are having a weekend (Friday to Monday) cruise on Royal Caribbean's "Majesty of the Seas" out of the Port of Miami. We have been able to reserve a block of cabins in several different categories for the weekend of May 13, 2005. The final per person charge is $336 for the least expensive cabin. Those folks booking earlier will have a better selection of the available cabins. At this point, we already have 20 cabins booked with several shared by two Pioneers so the guest list is growing daily! And since this is not limited to the Class of 1960, guests and other classes are welcome. For further information please go to http://pioneers1960.home.att.net/ and click on 45th Reunion! Regarding Yearbooks. We have the Class of 1960 Yearbook on CD. I believe we have a few left and I know additional copies can be ordered. I'm not sure about the price. Around $40, I think. smaletz@worldnet.att.net is the contact for the NMH Class of 1960 Yearbook CD. Thanks a bunch, Jane Sheppard DeGroot, Class of 1960 Reunion Committee Nomads4fun@aol.com Note: I know of a few from the Class of 1958 who are checking into taking this trip. Don't wait to long to sign up for this great trip. You can contact Jane Sheppard DeGroot for additional infomfation.

          1959 & 1960 Reunions: Greetings, Bill and I are having a mini here in Georgia the first weekend in December. The cost is minimal. It may be too late to send the information out to all Pioneers. If anyone is interested, please contact me at (770) 567-3503 or email me at: Byrdtwo@aol.com. Please put Pioneer Mini in the subject area as I do not open all e-mails because of SPAM. Also, the Class of 1960 is having a cruise leaving Miami on May 13th and returning May 16th, 2005. The Class of 1959 is having their 45th reunion at Rolling Hills in Davie, Florida the next weekend, beginning on May 20th. The Class of 1959 would welcome any Pioneers or Friends of Pioneers to our 45th reunion at Rolling Hills. I will post the information after next weekend regarding the cost. Thanks Jim for all you do to keep us in touch. Smiles from Bonnie Bishop (1959) and Bill Gardner (1960)

          Searching for Pioneers: Can anyone tell me about any of the following. A few of them I've asked about in the past without success. With so many new people getting the Pioneer Newsletter I'm hoping that I can now get some leads to finding them. Recent leads have helped me find a few more of the "lost" from the Class of 1958.

          Ellen Bruce-Class of 1957. Ellen was in my drama class at NMHS. What ever happened to her after NMHS? She was in the play "Jumpin' Jupiter". Ellen was voted the "Wittiest" along with Rich Maureau in 1957.

          Mary Louise Bush-Class of 1958. Was Charlene Bush (Class of 1959) her sister? Anyone know where Charlene lived while attending NMHS? Mary Bush lived at 1474 N. E. 177th Street. Mary graduated from the 9th grade at NMHS. Home room was #12. Charm Club, Student Guidance Aid, Speech Club. She may live at 13504 N. E. 24th Court, Miami, Florida 33181, H: 305-949-9656. Would someone who lives in the area call the listed number and see for me? Does anyone have Charlene's e-mail or snail mail address?

          Mary Ann Dixon-Class of 1958. Did Terry Dixon (Class of 1955) have a sister named Mary Ann Dixon? Anyone know where Terry Dixon lived while attending NMHS? I know that Mary Ann Dixon lived at 1655 N. E. 181st Street but know nothing about Terry. Does anyone have an e-mail or snail mail address for Terry Dixon? Mary Ann graduated from the 9th grade at NMHS. Her home room was #5, same as mine. She was in the Charm Club, Future Nurses of America, Junior Red Cross, Student Guidance Aid, Conestoga Staff, Civinettes

          James Otis Drake-Class of 1958. Lived at 12000 Biscayne Boulevard, Miami, Florida while attending NMHS. Home room was #18. Concert Choir-President 1958, Traffic Patrol, Student Guidance Aid. Siblings: Brother-Robert married married Sally Sheridan)

          Robert Drake-year of graduation from NMHS is unknown (his wife is Sally Sheridan-Class of 1958)

          Bonnie Evans. I really need some help to figure this one situation out. There were two known Bonnie Evans from the Class of 1958. #1 Bonnie was Evans, Bonnie (Class of 1958) who was listed as Bonnie Jean-her marriage information is unknown. School address was 1855 N. E. 153rd Street, North Miami Beach, Florida. Home room was #3. Bible Club. #2 Bonnie was Evans, Jeanette (Class of 1958). Her real name was Jeanette Marie but she also went by Bonnie Evans at NMHS. Married name is Jeanette Evans Federman. School address was 14540 N. W. 11th Court, North Miami, Florida. Graduated 9th grade class at NMHS. Home room was #8 Sorrota Club-Historian, Junior Red Cross, Y Teens-Parliamentarian 1956, Future Nurses of America, Marching Band (4 years), Concert Band (4 years), Tempo Club-Secretary 1958, Tempo News Staff, Student Council, Student Guidance Services. Sister Bertie Evans. Spouse: Elliott Federman (Class of 1959). Children: 2 known Debra, Gregory. I've found one Bonnie Evans Federman but not the other. Any help would be appreciated to resolve this problem.

          Michael Jacobs (Class of either 1960 or 1961): Linda Rehler (Class of 1959) is looking for Mike who is her cousin. She's lost contact with him.

          Tom Maxcy (Class of 1958): Does anyone have an e-mail address for Tom. He has answered request through classmates.com to Vennie Pent but hasn't sent his e-mail address. I keep getting request on Tom. I do have his home address and telephone number. While going to NMHS he lived at 1060 N. E. 130th Street, North Miami, Florida. Tom graduated from the 9th grade at NMHS. His home room was #3. Activities: Student Council, Basketball Team (4 years), Captain-Varsity Basketball Team, Baseball Team (pitcher), Sports Club, Letterman Club-President 1958. Conestoga salutes: Tom is a varsity letterman...President of Letterman's Club...captain of the basketball team...named as a valuable player by Miami Herald...member of student council...Tom proves that an athlete can excel in most anything. Occupation: College professor (retired)

          Jackie Prime-Class of 1957. I believe her married name was Burnett. She has moved from the address that I had in Florida. Unfortunately there are many possibilities listed in the white pages list that could be her. Jackie was a good friend of mine at NMHS. We took Spanish (Mrs. Atwood) and Geometry (Mr. Darrow's) classes together and often shared our homework. I lost contact with her after I left NMHS. Jackie was a member of the Bible Club, Hororia, Beta, Honor Roll Committee and the Drama Club. She lived at 330 N. E. 158th Street while attending NMHS.

          Sally Sheridan-Class of 1958 (husband is Robert Drake-Class at NMHS unknown). They married and I was told she had a large family. I had a lead that Sally Sheridan and Robert Drake lived at 19470 Saddlebrook Court, North Fort Myers, Florida 33903, H: 941-731-3735 but that lead didn't pan out. She lived at 1140 N. E. 131st Street, North Miami, Florida while attending NMHS. She graduated from the 9th grade at NMHS. Her home room was #16. Honor Garde, Honoria Club-Corresponding Secretary 1958-Honey 1958, Voted Best Dressed 1958. Spouse: Robert Drake (married 1961) Children: 1 known-Diane Cynthia. Interest: Sewing, painting, gardening.

          New E-mail Addresses Needed: Any help on new e-mail addresses on the Pioneers listed below would be greatly appreciated.

          Class of 1955-Jim Gale, Class of 1956-Joyce Glaze, Don Ohlsson & Barbara Clark, Tom Sgro Class of 1957-Terry Drummond, Emile Greenway & Martha Veal, Mike Kelly, Katrita Ledford, Altha Roberts, Carol Roman Class of 1958-Mike Farris, Anita Hamel, Sally Lamb, Dave Prevatt, Claude Norton & Annette Giaccone

Pioneer Updates:

          Janet Armstrong (Class of 1958) & Brother Bill Armstrong (Class of 1956): Note: I asked Janet about her brother Bill. This was her reply. Hi Jim, Yes, (gave e-mail address). Thank you, I did not realize that he did not get them. He and his wife Barbara, my husband Yogi and I, all went on a cruise to Alaska this past Sept. I do not get to see him much as they live in Florida and I am in California. They do travel around a lot in their motor home. I do not write you much but I sure do appreciate the Pioneer Newsletters. I was forwarding them on to those who did not receive them direct. Janet. Note: This was in response to the Pioneer Christmas mailing. Hi Jim, Even though I was going to Hialeah in 56, all the places you are talking about like Marcella's and Al's Dixie Queen. I also remember the Orange Bowl parades, as I was in several. I was a Junior Majorette when going to Constance and march with them, also at some of the football game half time shows. After reading the names of some of the football players, now I remember Wayne Rhodes. Yes, he was the one I had such a crush on in Jr High. He was into track then. We use to sneak out of the gym when there was a sock hop, or it might have been the Christmas dance and you know kinda of ..........neck a little. I was never allowed to date then, was too young, but that did not stop us when at a school function. (We were all so silly back then) I have pictures of him. His hair was dark brown. I could never remember his last name when I came across the picture, I only remember his first name was Wayne. I guess he did not make much of an impression on me. Billy and Hope Davis, we were very good friends when we were going to school before they moved from my neighborhood and I had to go to Hialeah. We rode the bus back then and got to school early, so we would go a few blocks from the school to a Drug store, I think it was South of the School, (I think it was a drugstore) cannot remember the name, that had tables and we would drink cherry cokes and eat glazed donuts. There was a jukebox and I always played "Cross Over the Bridge", Patti Paige. I remember all the times we would catch the city bus and go downtown to Woolworths, it was 2 stories, and had lunch on the second floor, then go to the movies at the Olympia and Paramont. We even skipped school one day at Hialeah and caught the bus downtown and saw "Gone With The Wind" and "Magnificent Obsession" in one day. The record shop that we hung around was in Little River. Yes, those were the Good Old Days. My granddaughters say they wished they had had gone to high school in the 50's. The Drive In on 27th Ave was called the Turnpike Drive In. I spent many evenings there. I also worked for Fredricks which later changed to Food Fair there on 27th Ave. and 163rd St. When the outdoor skating rink open in Opa Locka I practically lived there. I was an Elvis fan from the very beginning and still am. I have a lot of Elvis memorabilia. I did not get a chance to see him in concert until his performance in Miami in 1973. Another favorite was Harry Belafonte and I loved to dance to his music. I do not remember Pampers hitting the stores in the 50's. When I had my children in the 60's we still used cloth diapers. If they had them you can bet I would have used them for my 1st in 64 when we went camping. It seemed I did nothing but wash diapers. I do not recall disposable diapers until after the 60's. Thanks for the trip down memory lane. Best Wishes to you and your for a Happy Holidays. Always, Janet Armstrong Kliven

          David Baker (Class of 1958): I really have no special memories of Christmas 1956, except that basketball revolved around it. Mr. Hyrne, as religious as he was. tried to keep the players focused on the season. I was the manager. I do know that John Kuiken and I went to the Orange Bowl Game on New Years Day. David

          Camille Bewan (Class Unknown of NMHS): Jim, Was Camille Bewan in our class? I knew her back then but didn't know if she went on to graduate with us. She is not in my yearbook and I only have the one for 1958. When Dick and I were first married Camille and her husband, Herb Morgan, lived in the apartments that I (Karen Cross Class of 1958) managed and we became good friends then lost touch when Dick and I moved to Tennessee. Do you remember her or have any info? Note: Does anyone know anything about her? I can't find Camille listed anywhere.

          John Bobbitt (Class of 1955): John Bobbitt aka Johnny Holliday's Book Review: John Bobbitt attended NMHS, graduating in 1955. He lists as two friends that he grew up with were Sal Licata and Tom Sgro in his book. The review: "In a joyful and inspiring memoir, the pioneer Top 40 DJ retraces the steps that carried him from an "all black" R&B station in hometown Miami to his current 24 year tenure as radio play-by-play voice of the University of Maryland Terrapins football and basketball teams. Written with his friend, Stephen Moore, Johnny recalls his glory rock and roll DJ days in Cleveland, New York (where he worked with Murray the K), and San Francisco; his radio work in Washington, D.C.; his live coverage of nine Olympic Games for ABC Sports; and his adventures with family, close friends, and professional colleagues from Hank Aaron, Rick Barry, the Beatles, Howard Cosell, Joe DiMaggio, Ralph Friedgen, and Paul Hornung to Janis Joplin, the Joy Boys, Murray the K, Roger Miller, Sugar Ray Leonard, Morgan Wooten, and both Ted and Gary Williams, to name but a few." Foreword by Tony Kornheiser, Afterword by Dick Vitale. 225+ pp eight-page b/w photo insert. 6 x 9 hardcover. ISBN: 158261461X. Note: I've read a few reviews on the book and they both got very high praise. It can be ordered through the Internet at Amazon, Barnes & Noble or Borders. Check it out at www.jholliday.com. Wonderful memory piece, brought back some great memories for me of my days growing up in Miami. All the best, Johnny Holliday Bobbitt . Note: I've just ordered it for myself. I'll fill you in on it later after I read it.

          Pete Cross (Class of 1959): Jim, Please include me on your email list for the "Pioneer Christmas Newsletter". I graduated from NMSH in 1959. I was at NMHS for six years, (7-12 grade) attended Ben Franklin Elementary, and lived on N. W. 7th Ave and 127th Street. I married Donna Leonard (Class of 1961) and we have been together almost 44 years. I like competition Bar-B-Q cooking, have a team, and our team colors are green and gray. Old habits are hard to break. Before I retired (January-2004) I was an Internal Auditor for Publix and traveled to all their locations on a regular basis. The old neighborhood 'just ain't the same'. The last time I was in Miami (late last year) I traveled down NW 7th Ave and visited a few of the old hang-outs that are still there. Johnny's Barber Shop and Donavan's Bar were just a few. Johnny was running his shop and I stopped by and spent some quality time with him discussing the good days. I will admit my visits on 7th Ave were limited to daytime hours. Several guys from our group hung out together and got haircuts at Johnny's. Aime Cote, John Shirey, Howard Goldberg, myself, Charlie Hernendez and Joe Hernendez (gone, but not forgotten). Johnny still had a picture in his shop of four of us guys when we were seventeen, including four of his barbers. The only ones of the eight that are left are Pete (me), Aime, Howard, and Johnny. Looking at that picture made me realize what we had back then. Those were truly the 'good days', we just did not realize it back then in 1958. I look forward to receiving your newsletter, keep up the good work. To anyone interested: pete59@tampabay.rr.com. Pete Cross, Class of 1959--The best. Kathleen, Florida. Note: Isn't Charlie Hernandez still with us or was there more than one. I send the Pioneer Newsletter to a member of the Class of 1958 named Charlie Hernandez.

          Hope Davis (Class of 1957): Jim ~ what a great trip down memory lane!!! Just loved it..... what a great memory you have, too. I had forgotten such a lot of that, but it certainly brought it all back. Especially Marcella's - a group of us (Arlene and Jackie Stevens, my brother, Bill Davis and I) were there having our garlic rolls and pizza when Frankie Avalon and Fabian drove up in a white Cadillac convertible with two gorgeous girls and came in for pizza. That was sooooo exciting. Also goes to show how great Marcella's really was - even the celebs came there. It also brought back my years as a Sub-Deb and the great friends we made there. Thanks again for being our historian and for taking the time to keep our Pioneers connected. God bless you and have a very Merry Christmas. Hope (Davis) Kilpatrick

          Pat Delman (Class of 1958): I just heard from Pat Delman. She wanted to get in touch with Ulli von Burski (Class of 1958) who lived in Germany. She had e-mailed Ulli last month but never got a reply so she wondered if she had the right e-mail address. Her daughter wants to go to Germany for a special medical treatment. I e-mailed both her and Ulli. Hope all works out for Pat's family. Note: The e-mail address that I have for Pat is hers but she was using a friends computer.

          Carol DeLuise (Class of 1959): Thanks for that wonderful trip down memory lane. I was a student at North Miami from 1956 to 1959. What a terrific gift, old memories. Just the memory of going to Marcella's after a football game was something I hadn't thought about in so many many years. Shopping in North Miami, getting on a bus and going to the movies in downtown Miami. And Woolworth's soda counter at the 163rd street shopping center. My best friend worked at that counter after school and during the summer. Thanks again, you did good. Carol (DeLuise) Cherry

          Jackie Dunkley (Class of 1959): Merry Christmas Jim, You are the greatest. Thank you so much for your wonderful newsletter. It was great and it made me feel 16 again. (Boy what a long time ago) I just returned from a Mini Reunion in Georgia at Bonnie (Bishop) Gardner's home. It was great to be with old classmates. I won't be able to attend the Reunion in May so I like to go to these Mini's. You can never tell but one of these days I'm going to show up in Salt Lake City. I really want to go to the LDS Library and see if I can find some of the things I have been looking for in my family. I hope you and yours have a great Christmas and a Very Happy New Years. Sure wish you could make it back east to visit with us. Jackie Dunkley-Gray (1959)

          Tom Dunn (Class of 1958): Dear Jim I am sorry to advise you that Howard Lipscomb passed away on December 8, 2004. I was reading the paper Saturday morring and saw that the service was that day. I went and ran into Coach DelBello, man did he look great. I do not think he has aged a bit in all these years. We talked about old times at NMHS. It was sure great seeing him. I hope this finds you in good health and have a great Christmas. Tom R. Dunn (Class of 1958)

          Fritz Feickert (Class of 1960) aka Fast Freddy: Hey Jim, This is a great North Miami Pioneers memory. I graduated in 1960, and I remember a lot of things you mentioned in your Christmas news letter, that I have just read. Good luck to you in the future. Just one of the 1960 Pioneer graduates, Fritz Feickert.

          Vickie Frederick (Class of 1958): Hi Jim: What a great newsletter! We moved in my senior year so I didn't graduate there, but have great memories of the other years I attended. Also got and read Mary Gleason's book Guava Dreams - I also lived in Uleta and it was great! Please send me "Special Christmas in the 1950's North Miami". Keep up the good work. Happy holidays. Vickie (Frederick) Thompson

          Harvey Glaser (Class of 1957) & Judy Rainess (Class of 1959): Just received your newsletter and it was good to see some names I haven't seen for a lifetime. I am Harvey Glaser (Class of 1957) an old Conestoga, NMHS grad. Married to Judy, nee Rainess (Class of 1959) NMHS. Married 42 years, 3 children, 6 grand children. We live on Long Island, in New York, with a place in Islamorada, Florida. E-mail address, halfabum@hotmail.com. Be sure to put Pioneer or NMHS in the subject line so it doesn't get deleted with all the spam. Be sure to keep us on your list. Harvey

          Dick Gregory (Class of 1959) & Priscilla Plankenhorn (Class of 1960): Hi Jim, my wife and I just read the newsletter, it was great! Nice job!..my wife used to work at the North Miami Drug Store. We also got a kick about reminising of all the places in North Miami, songs, etc....thanks again, have a great holiday season!!! Dick and Priscilla Gregory, Kissimmee, Florida.

          Joe Grisillo (Class of 1958): Two months ago, I retired for the 3rd, and final, time. We're currently "living" at Walt Disney World. We'll leave here next week and drive down to Key West for the Holidays; stopping to see friends along the way. We'll return to Arizona by way of Mardi Gras. Next summer, we're scheduled to be in Oregon in mid-July. We'll be driving up through Salt Lake City. Please send Paul Colletti's address to me. I'll write him a letter. He might answer me since we were college room mates. Jim, always good to get your updates. Joe. Note: I've just sent Paul's address to Joe. Hope he has success.

          Russ Heard (Class of 1958) & Sharon McFarland (Class of 1960): Hi Jim, Sorry for the absence. Sharon and I relocated from Sevierville, Tennessee to Ocala , Florida. The move has been anything but a labor of love. I guess one could say we are not getting any younger. Anyway, we are now established in the Ocala area. Our current email address is Sharla8709@aol.com. Keep the great work up with your newsletter. We really enjoy hearing about classmates. Go Pioneers !! Russ and Sharon

          Nancy Heinmuller (Class of 1958): Hi Jim, just thought that you might enjoy this site as much as I did when it was sent to me (U_thrill_me - Page: 1 of 1). If so please pass it on so those of us from that "great" time in the 1950's can recall again how fortunate we were. God bless you for all of the joy you bring to us "Pioneer's". Have a very Merry Christmas, and a healthy New Year!!!! Love, Nancy Foster (Heinmuller)1958 Note: You can also check into this wonderful fun site at: www.thestatenislandboys.com/U_thrill_me/

          Paula Hottle (Class of 1957): What a great trip down memory lane. Thanks for putting in all the effort and sending it out. My time at North Miami was also a great time for me. Have a great holiday, Paula Hottle Higginbotham

          Joyce Hutchison (Class of 1958): Hi Jim, Regards from California (Fairfield) and Happy Holidays to you and all your readers. I have been trying to locate Sally Sheridan Drake. She married Jim Drake's brother Bob. That's the last name I had for her. Anybody out there have any information on either one of these two? Have a safe and eventful holiday . Joyce Hutchinson Bacon. P. S. I will try to make the get-together as I am planning to be in Florida late January-mid February.

          Margo Longman (Class of 1958): Thanks for the memories - We'll be going down to Florida for Christmas to be with family and friends. Wishing you & yours a Wonderful & Christ Filled Christmas. Love, Margo. Note: Margo is a very special person. She was at NMHS and still is today.

          Tommy Mew (Class of 1958): Tommy Mew just had an art show in Edewecht, Germany at the Micro Hall Art Center from November 1-30, 2004. It included 30 new art works by Tommy on paper. The exhibition was entitled "Traumes Wirren" or translated "Dream Visions". He is having his art work at two more shows in Northern Georgia. The first is at the RACA Gallery, 248 Broad Street in Rome, Georgia from December 1-18, 2004, weekdays from 9:00-5:00. The second is at the Moon Gallery at Berry College in Mount Berry, Georgia from December 20, 2004 until January 7, 2005, weekdays from 9:00-4:00. The exhibits includes work from 30 artists from Georgia, California and Northern Ireland. I've seen a few of Tommy's art work in the past and they are excellent. Note: Tommy is an art professor at Berry College and the head of the art department.

          Mickey Mikula (Class of 1958): Mickey Mikula (Carole Jurczak) here wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas from Michigan. I love hearing from Jim and all the news of the alumni. Seems impossible so many years have come and gone. I hope to make the 50th class reunion. It would be great to have a good turnout. Keep the newsletters coming. Carole "Mickey"

          Andy Murcia (Class of 1958): Dear Jim, First off, I hope the heart procedure went well and that your well. A year ago last November I had angioplasty for a blockage in my main artery and thank God I came through fine. Wish the same for you/yours. Re: My old address, I lived on 139th Street. I make this correction in the copy because I wrote a column recently about my old house relating to a Thanksgiving there - (See archives, it's a free/quick read at www.The Columnists.com). Feel free to plug the web site if you care to - we enjoy having new readers find us. Many thanks and take care! PS: I would have graduated NMHS about 1958. Best regards, Andy Andrew Murcia, Murcia Management Co. Our Web Site: www.AnnJillian.comE-mail: mgrajam1@aol.comPO Box 57739, Sherman Oaks, California 91413-2739 Read Ann Jillian & Andy Murcia at: www.thecolumnists.com. Note: I read the article and it was very interesting. I remember a few of the places that Andy mentioned. If you want to take a trip back to a 1950's Thanksgiving in North Miami you should real this article.

          Vennie Pent (Class of 1956): Jim, the reference to the Kenilworh Hotel caught my attention. My freshman year in Gainesville, Bob Geissinger was working at the Kenilworth. We planned to room together the next year so Bob said he could get a refrigerator for our room at school. We met at the Kenilworth on one evening. We got no fridge but did get a "case" of hotel soap. We were in the hotel parking lot when 2 police cars pull up. We left the soap in the "big soap robbery". By the way, the Kenilworh would not admit any Jews. I also remember Marcella's and the Dairy Queen. I had my first Blizzard there. My first car was a 1950 Chevy that I got on my birthday when I was 16. My parents paid $700.00 for it. I kept it till my senior year in college. In the 1955 Conestoga there is a picture of me and a gal standing on 125th Street. About 20 yards away was my 1950 Chevy under a no parking sign. Regarding the 125th Street stores, I remember: Sammy's Pig and Chick Camarucci the Tailor on West Dixie Highway. You won a pair of slacks if you were voted the outstanding player, I won 2 pair of slacks. I think the JC's paid for the slacks. I remember a White Castle on NE 6th Ave. just south of 125 St, They had the 15cents burger and great Birch Beer. I think they were open 24/7. I remember eating at Sammy's at lunch time. That was a time when students were not allowed to leave the school grounds. I also started on the record collection that I had bought. I still remember my first 45RPM turntable and the records I bought. It was at a store in Little River on 79th Street. My parents bought a 45RPM player and several records when I was in the tenth grade. I remember one was Riders in the Sky by Vaughn Monroe and one was Babaloo by Desi Arnaz. The 3rd might have been something by Perry Como. That was a long time ago. I see where #661 is Ernie's Studio and Camera Center. Ernie Jr. was a year behind me. My senior year we gave him a "ration" of stuff. We would mess around with his shoes and uniform. His name is Ernest Skog, Jr. and he lives in the Bahamas and is married to Mary Ellen Weir of Class of 1960. Note on Vennie: The almost "soap robber" is a very successful business owner today in North Carolina.

          Betty Petras (Class of 1955): Hi Jim- Thanks for the Pioneer Newsletter. I have tried to send you an e-mail several times and I guess it was incorrect. I'm Betty Plant (Petras). Class of 1955 and the first graduating class of North Miami High School. I am retired and living and loving in Reno, Nevada. I have been married 48 years to a retired Marine Corps Fighter Pilot, have 3 children and 5 grandchildren. What are the plans for our "BIG" 50th reunion? I heard that there was a celebration last year with other classes but don't know if that is the correct information. I hope not - why would we celebrate a year early? Please let me know the latest information. Thanks, Betty. Note: Class of 1955 and 1956, please contact Betty Plant about future reunions. I'm not aware of when they will be held.

          Linda Rehler (Christoph) Class of 1959: Hi and thanks so much for the news update. I'm looking for my cousin, Michael Jacobs who graduated in either 1960 or 1961. Any leads? It would be most appreciated.

          Jack Rosenberg (Class of 1958): We received Christmas in a big way this week with 10-12" of snow. Thought You might like to see what Christmas looks like on Saddlehorn Drive in Erie, Pennsylvania. Note: He included three photographs showing the snow depth.

          Joan Sharp (Class of 1958): Joni is married to Florida sport writer Buddy Martin who has been doing a lot of articles on the University of Florida's football coaching change. Thanks to Vennie Pent I have been checking them out through the Internet. I've been very interested because Coach Urban Meyer, of the University of Utah, I felt was going to go to the Gators but I kept getting mixed signals from my Ute booster who was in the know. Well now that it is a done deal I can say to all you Gator fans, thanks for taking him away from Utah. I'm a die hard BYU fan and Coach Meyer has made us (the Cougars) look bad the last two years. Note: You can check out Buddy Martin's column at www.buddymartin.com.

          Emile Sinai (Class of 1958): We had problems with the computer when Comcast, our cable company, came to install DSL on Thursday October 8. Coincidentally that was the day Ulli came to visit. He stayed with us till Monday the 12th of Oct. We had a wonderful visit. We had dinner with Joan Applegate Flower and her husband Jack. They are such nice people. Ulli was able to reach Tony Santos and he came over to visit. We also finally reached Don Drybread but we were not able to see him. Don got married and was having a belated reception, that Sunday the 11th of October. The Hurricanes delayed his reception by a couple of months, I think Jeff Clark was driving from Orlando for the occasion. Don moved to Palm Beach, which made it hard for us to visit. My family enjoyed him thoroughly, especially when we went to Sabrina and he regaled her with his piano playing. He is so multi talented. He is looking forward to our 50th reunion and is definitely planning on attending. I tried to understand what you were trying to say about your grandson's project. If you still want me to participate, I will be very glad to help, just give me more details and I will do the best I can and definitely follow through. I believe you said I would be sending something to Ulli, which I will be happy to do once I know and understand what it is. Taryn, Scott and the baby were here for two and a half weeks and just left last night. It is so lonely without that baby. Thank G-d for Scott. He fixed my computer which was very sick and installed the firewall, anti virus to name a few. I am back on line after almost 6 weeks. My other four grandchildren loved playing with their little cousin. It was wonderful and bedlam having everyone here but it was worth it. Those kids keep you hopping and are well worth it. We acquired a new puppy, we have a Bichon who I seriously think has a mental problem. We have him nine weeks and he still makes in his crate where he sleeps and eats. The vet and the trainer he has say it is very unusual for a dog to do that. I wish I knew someone who could give me some more advice as to what I can do to break him of that horrible habit. Even the trainer is not able to break him of it. A Bichon is supposed to be the sweetest animal, even tempered, loveable, someone forgot to tell my dog Coby about all that. Maybe later as he matures, he is now 5 1/2 months old and is going to give me a nervous breakdown. Monique is getting married next December 2005. Sami and Ben, my two oldest grandchildren are having their Bnai Mitzvah Thanksgiving of 2005, the following Saturday Monique will be getting married. Being busy is great but sometimes we overextend ourselves then we pay dearly. I am doing that right now and I am feeling it like I never did before. So please take care and be careful. Must go now. Need to get ready to walk the little monster and wrap first presents for tomorrow, which is the first nite of Hanukkah. Hope to hear from you soon. Love to you both. Wish I could see you soon. Emilie

          Steve Slack (Class of 1955): I really enjoyed all the trips down memory lane. Many thanks for sharing it. Steve

          Kathy Smith (Class of 1958): Thanks so much Jim for all the memories. Enclosed is a picture of my son taken last December. He did Saddam's fingerprints and some of his interrogation. He is an FBI Agent and was in Iraq at the time of Saddam Hussein's capture. This Christmas he is in Afghanistan. We are very proud of him. Please pray for him and all the others in harms way. Kathleen (Smith) Davis Note: She included a great photograph of her son with Saddam Hussein with her e-mail that was taken on December 12, 2003 by the FBI. Saddam looked terrible from hiding out.

          Judy Snider (Class of 1958): I received an email from Annie Ruth Rainey-Class of 1958 (she now goes by Ruth) telling me about her sister-in-law, Judy Snider who is married to Perry Rainey (Class of 1957). E-mail: Judy is in the hospital now with a serious sore on her leg that won't heal. Please include Judy in your prayers. Note: Remember Judy, Perry and all other Pioneers who have illnesses or troubles at this time of the year.

          Shirley Stafford (Class of 1958): Thanks again Jim for all the time and energy you put into this newsletter. I always enjoy reading what others are up to. Sort of semi-retired from my own property management company. Commercial properties are much less time consuming. While living in Los Angeles years ago, I met Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey author of "A Woman of Independent Means" who later adapted the same book for the stage, staring Barbara Rush. As I produce a play in my community each year to benefit the Women's Center/Shelter, this year I will do, "A Woman of Independent Means" and Ms. Hailey will be coming to town to promote the book and the play. I mention this in case others are doing volunteer work for Women's Centers, they might be interested in a similar event. Ms. Hailey has granted the use of the play without Royalties which is a huge benefit. Note: If anyone is interested they can contact Shirley direct for more information at: Sthagard@aol.com.

          Jean Stager (Class of 1958): Jim--This is Jean Stager Parks from North Miami High School. My e-mail has changed. I enjoyed your news letter so much. Please send them to me at my new e-mail address. Thanks---Jean Stager Parks Note: If anyone would like to have Jean's new e-mail address, contact me.

          Carole Starke (Class of 1959): Hi Jim, Again, thanks for all of your work. The newsletter is a great way to hear the latest news on friends and to keep in touch. Please send me a copy of the Christmas in the 1950s North Miami. Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas and a healthy and Happy New Year. Carole Starke Hutcheson

          Lona St. Germain (Class of 1958): Christmas Season 1956: I was a member of the marching band and it was the last year North Miami High School got invited to the New Year's Eve Parade before I graduated. It was bitter cold and we were near the end of the parade. The staging area was in a parking lot right by the water off Biscayne Bay. By the time we "stepped off" most of the clarinet players couldn't play because our fingers were so cold, including me. But we were on national television that year. Wonderful memory. Lona (St. Germain) Zambruno. Note: I was at the parade and they did a great job and yes, I remember that it was very cold.

          Linda Thomas (Class of 1957): Thank you so much for your e-mail newsletter. We surely had a great group of people attending North Miami High School back in the 1950's. Remember Marcella's and Dairy Queen? And how exciting it was when someone got a car? And our great tennis team (that had most of their matches at Marcella's!) And the occasional flasher who showed up along 135th Street. What a town North Miami was then. Our school was called Edward L. Constance when I started there, but after all of our football rivals started calling it Connie High they changed the name. Just a bit of trivia FYI. Keep up the good work. Linda Thomas Sammarco

          Edwina Thornton (Class of 1959): Awesome information! Thanks for the trip down "memory lane" - although I have to tell you, my memory couldn't have dredged up even one tenth of what is here! I guess you don't have CRS syndrome. Wynn.

          Ulli von Burski (Class of 1958): Dear Jim, thank you so much for your several mails. I have been traveling a lot and that has led to my e-mail files being totally neglected, sorry, but I never thought that being retired gets you so busy .... Hope that you have well recovered from your health problems, and that you are enjoying the pre-Christmas season. Our trip to the United States in September/October was marvelous. I still intend to get in touch with the people you requested but just haven't gotten around to it yet. Bye for now, kind greetings to Miriam, and all the best to you all, as always, Ulli

          Pat Walker (Class of 1956): Thanks for sending the 1956 Pioneer Christmas. So many of the stories were very touching. When you get a little older, you realize that others in our age group had many problems with parents or not enough for Christmas or other times. Most of us were too proud to tell anyone about those things in those days. Our family always had plenty of food, but never a finished house as our dad was building it by himself. We were always proud of his skills. My mom sewed and taught me to sew as well.....so I always sewed my clothes in the summer for the next school year. It was a real treat to be able to buy a dress......but that made it all the more special. My brother and I always worked part-time to help buy our clothes, shoes or extra things. We were both in the band and made so many friends during those wonderful years. We never felt "poor" but I guess by some standards we were.......we were so rich in having a close family, extended family and friends. We were really very blessed. I think back to those days and remember them with great fondness. May God bless you and your family this Christmas and in the coming year. Sincerely, Pat Walker Griffin (Class of 1956)

          Carolyn Wood (Class of 1955): Hi, I am Carolyn Wood Jones, Class of 1955 at NMHS. Tom Kohler said you send out newsletters and I would appreciate receiving it. I was born and raised at 840 N. E. 130th Street, but have been away from the area for 42 years.

Some Things To Smile About

          Poor Mary: Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. The medical director learned of Mary's heroic act. He immediately wrote orders for her discharge from the hospital. He considered her mentally stable. When he went to tell Mary the news. He said, "Mary, I have good news & bad news. The good news is you're going to be discharged. You jumped into the pool and saved the life of another patient. I believe you've regained your full mental capacity and are able to function normally in society Here are your discharge papers. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with the belt to his bathrobe. I am so sorry, but he's dead." Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry."

          Nancy's Goldfish Died: Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the youngster was up to, he asked in his friendliest way, "What are you up to, Nancy? "My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor commented, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your dumb cat."

          Actual label instructions on consumer goods. David Baker (Class of 1958). The comments are not mine. I am glad my chain saw came from the USA however. Not my ideal way of being neutered.
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Shucks, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with headcolds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh..fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my Goodness...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Christmas Divorce (From Ron Adamson via David Baker): An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about," the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick and tired of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." And he hangs up. Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting a divorce, she shouts. "I'll take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone, smiles, and turns to his wife. "They're coming for Christmas and paying their own way."